Increasing Your Self Esteem

What Is Self Esteem?

Esteem is a feeling of worth of what one may think about another. It is the regard in which one is held. When people speak about esteem, it is usually used in high regards. An example of this is; The Athlete is held in magnificent esteem by her peers and fans. Self Esteem is therefore the regard in which one holds his or herself. It is the worth or value placer an individual places on oneself. Everyone has some kind of esteem and even if they are unaware of it, it’s there and they do use that esteem. That esteem can do a lot for an individual.

What Causes Low Self Esteem?

Low self-esteem is basically build from four elements:

• Education
• Looks
• Finance
• Talk Down / De-motivation

Education: Many people exhibit low self-esteem when they have little to no education and find them self-surrounded by people well educated who also consider themselves to be quite smart and well informed. When people of low self-esteem converse with some of these educated people, they tend not to be listened to, ideas ridiculed or simply in no capacity to make a meaningful contribution to any discussion. You have some really mean people who will even ridicule that individual in a subtle way about they not up in par intellectual wise.
Looks: The world seem to be going crazy with how people look. Low minded people use your looks to determine so many aspects of life. Your looks may determine the kind of Job you get, they kind of friends you have or even the places you feel comfortable hanging out. Isn't that a sad situation for someone to use looks as any determine factor? There are certain workplaces who hires female based upon their looks and weight. If they span out of being gorgeous and slim, they are immediately fired from that job. Many people who have that low esteem think of themselves being unattractive and simply hate to be looked at or worst stared at. They believe themselves to be unequal to the average person and will always draw into that shell to hide them-self away. Teasing, talking and pranks are many times carried out on people who the world considers "different" These people are often time rejected and seldom accepted as being a part of the gang. This causes self-demotivate and lack of confidence to be apart or easily mix with the average person.
Finance: They say people with lots of money are the boldest, loudest and simply has a confidence level of a category 5 hurricane. The opposite is often true of people who have little to no money at all, they simply can't put their money where their mouth is and this can bring low self-esteem. Many men who are attracted to girls they believe are out of their reach financially, may not have that brave spirit or confidence to approach that girl in a meaningful way. Poverty is a big factor for many people and it comes tied to low self-confidence.
Talk Down / De-Motivation: This is one of the most dangerous and mental lasting negative influence you can place on anyone. When you keep driving negative energy into people's mind, the mind will begin to move from that place of light and begin to slowly shift into that dark shell. Negative speech drills deep within your mind and pulls you away from anything positive about you as a person. But what exactly is negative speech or talking down to? Let me make it easy by giving you a few lines of what many people say to other people daily.

• You will never make it.
• Why can't you be more like that person?
• You are not pretty enough.
• You will never turn out to anything good.
• You have no skill?
• You have no talent?
• You are not white enough?
• Everything you do fails?

These are some of the negative speech which drills low self-esteem into people and others to the brink of ending their own lives. The reason why these words are so powerful is because most times they are coming from people who you believe matter to you in some way. But that is all they are, just words, words that you can push past and redeem your self-esteem.

Regain Your Self Confidence

Building a High Self Esteem

I mentioned above the four (4) main contributing factors for people with low self-esteem. If you want to gain self-confidence and get a high self-esteem you must tackle these four contributing factors head on. But even before you start tackling these factors, you must first start the process of belief. No, I am not asking you to convert to Islam, Hindu or Christianity, but you first have to start the process of self-belief. You cannot move on into gaining a high level of confidence in yourself without first loving yourself and begin to believe in you. You are unique, you are brand YOU! There is no one else like you with that same style, look, smile, touch, thought, dreams. I could go on and on. Your uniqueness is not based upon simply how you look or what you eat, it is based upon your whole existence, both body and spirit.

1. Self-Love
The ultimate love is loving another life unconditionally. But you can never truly express that love and have a high worth if you have no love or care for your own self. It has to begin with you. You must love yourself first. Love who you are as a person. Love the way you wear your hair, love the way how you smile, tell yourself that you have the cutest smile in the world. Build positive thoughts around who you are, tell yourself "Yes I Can." Yes you can, you can love yourself and do anything you want to do.

2. Tell The Nay Sayers Thanks! (Talk Down / De motivators)
Those people who continue to pound you down with that hammer of negativity, tell them Thanks! If they say you will never make it, tell them Thanks! If they say you are not attractive, tell them Thanks! If they say you are worthless, tell them thanks! Tell them thanks for showing how evil they truly are, and they have saved you a lot of time and trouble figuring them out. Offer them help if possible because they surely need it. Don’t let them intimidate you, their souls are bitter and you just have to feel sorry for them. Don't bother with their company as their energy is negative and that is just not what you are seeking right now.

3. Upgrade Your Education/Skill
You have to be real to yourself about certain things. Yes, you can achieve anything your mind sets out to, but don't so it to fit in, do it because it is who you are and you simply want to. Not every one of us will get a PHD, Masters or a Bachelor’s Degree, but that does not mean you cannot be educated. Books about every topic known to man is scattered free all over the globe. Self-study if you must, read anything which is worth reading. A well informed person will topple a person who is simply educated anytime. But I am still not bashing going to a College to get your degree, it may take time for a struggling or low income individual, but once you start, there is simply no turning back. For many, a Degree is definitely an esteem booster and allows them to unlock doors they would traditionally shy away from. Likewise, if you are a skilled worker, you can further that skill by enrolling into some technical institute which will harness your talent and make you even better than you are.

4. Accepting Your Look, But Nothing Wrong With a Little Change
Never beat down your own self because of how you think you look or what people deemed your looks to be. You are who you are and the best thing you can do before you indulge in any form of makeover or change is self-acceptance. There is nothing wrong with a change of style, dress, hair etc. But once you begin to indulge in physical change of appearance that is a clear symbol of not accepting who you are and the lovely features you were created with. But don't get me wrong, if you have a physical defect and it can be corrected, by all means do so. You have the right to.

5. Accept You finances and Improve over Time
You should never make how much money you have or earn be a factor in how low or high your self-esteem is. A person's financial standings can change at any time or it may simply not change at all. I always encourage people to accept what you have and work for more if needs be. If a group of friends can sit and talk all day about how much money they make, they trips they plan on taking next week and the hundreds of thousands they spent on diamonds and you can't, it may just not be the right sitting for you, simple as that. There are rich people who don't babble about their riches and do have a life beyond their money.

Conclusion

Notice the picture above. It consist of hundreds of positive words forming the images of people just like you and me. I want you to do something for yourself. Get out a clean sheet of paper and create a list titled; Positive things about me. Then I want you to list all that YOU believe is good about you, all the positive adjectives you can use to describe who you are. Keep this list with you and whenever you are feeling down, read that list of positive about you and reinforce who you really are. Remember, the only person who can give you back that confidence and boost your self-esteem is the person you see in front of you when you look into the mirror.