How To Cope With Sudden Infant Death (SID)

Having a child can be a very beautiful thing, from the anticipation of the child's arrival to when the child arrives. The Anticipation of arrival puts a lot of pressure on the carrying mother. There are the constant Doctor visits, the morphing of the woman's body, the craving of various types of foods by her, and for some, baby sickness. Different women react different to pregnancy. For the expectant dad, he has to ensure that the expectant mom is always OK. Then there is the preparation of room for your expecting child, the different colors to choose, the types of toys to buy and the different baby clothes to choose from. All these anticipation and preparation has already began to infuse a bond between child/children and parent.
 

When that little bundle of Joy arrives, it is like a second Christmas. Tiny voice echoes of his cries. You get to fully examine the baby, you look deeply in the child's eyes and the bond is sealed. But as with every Bundle of joy comes a little work, staying up late feeding, walking the child to sleep or just up worried why he has a slight temperature. Worrying over infants are so natural, as they cannot indicate to us what the problems are.
You have become an expert now at infant care, you are more confident, you know your child cries, no when he is not well or know if he is just cranky and needs to sleep. The Bond grows even more, the love is cast in Steele and not even Zeus himself can separate you and your child.

You notice that you baby is not behaving like he used to, He is not eating the way he would, he begins to cry uncontrollably or just does not cry at all. You take him to the Doctor and the news only gets worst, they don't know what is happening to your child and the baby would have to be admitted to run further test. This is the most heart stabbing, emotion triggering, devastating news that any loving parent would want to hear. All the questions now swirl around in your head;
what is wrong with my baby? he was perfectly fine for over a month now this.

How will this affect my baby?
Is the condition life threatening? You pray its not
How soon will he be back home again?

The Diagnosis

Bitter News
The news is bitter, Your Stomach churns, dizziness swarms your head and the strength of rat holds up your knees. The child is diagnosed with a deadly condition and doctors has given him several days to live as there is nothing left to do.

The Sacrifice
You stretch every last dollar trying to save the life of your child, you research and pay the best doctors to breath back some hope in your darkness but it is futile. No one has any solution for your problem.

Death comes
Your little bundle of joy as fought and as put up his final stand. The battle was too great and now he has gone over to a better place. It's a great loss, a heart ripping experience which will damage the emotions and sometimes the life of some parents who have not overcome that mental strain.

Sudden Infant Death

Not all infants who have passed on have had the fighting chance of being examined by a doctor, there are worst cases where the mother or father has placed the child in his/her cot to sleep and the child never wakes up. This is extremely terrible as the child death is sudden, unexplained and was not expected. This type of death is called "Sudden Infant Death"
According to Wikipedia;
"Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) also known as cot death or crib death is the sudden death of an infant that is not predicted by medical history and remains unexplained after a thorough forensic autopsy and detailed death scene investigation. Infants are at the highest risk for SIDS during sleep. Typically the infant is found dead after having been put to bed, and exhibits no signs of having struggled.

After the loss of a child, you feel like all your inner organs has been ripped out and a vacuum is created. This vacuum is like a dark deep pit that no amount of console, hugs and kisses can fill. It is a void left when part of your soul is scratched away. It is that void that locks our inner sorrows in and repeatedly flashes them in our minds. It is not easy to overcome such an emotional and mental phase of your life, but overcoming it is a must as life goes on and so does yours.

How to Cope

Acceptance

• It is better to see things as they really are and not create any fantasy about the circumstances that may surround you. Your child has died and moved on to a better place, he will not come back. Don't create fantasy stories in your mind that your child is temporarily gone and one day will return to you. Those thoughts never ever bring you out of grief and sometimes may damage you mentally.

Speak About It

• It is a difficult situation, and you will find some solitude in silence, but one of the best ways to cope and move on with infant loss is to speak about it. The more you open up the easier coping gets. Console with a special loved one or a good friend. Focus on all the positiveness of your infant. All you enjoyed about him when he was alive. Speak and Speak openly.

Tears of Relief

• One good way of not actually going crazy is to cry. Crying helps to release tension built up that may even cause yourself to become ill. When ever you feel full of emotion and need to let those tears out, go for it.

Your Child's Belongings

• it is a good idea after a while to get rid of all the stuff which you had bought for your infant. Even if you plan to have a baby in the near future, don't keep personal stuff which reminds you deeply of him. Give away all those clothes and personal artifacts (toys) he may have enjoyed more.

Occupy Your Time

• If you are not engaged in any work activity, it would be best to find something to keep your mind occupied for a moment until you are able to pull through. There are many volunteer projects that are always available, join one.

Seek Counseling

• Not everyone is strong emotionally and get over tragedy the way others do. For some parents, if the loss becomes so overbearing that it has began to take an extreme mental toll on you, the best thing to do, after doing all of the above is to seek counseling. There are professional and experienced people who are qualified to help you get through your time of bereavement.

Having Another Child

 There are many couples who have had another child shortly after the loss. Many Parents whom i have spoken to and observed say that they have not forgotten about the loss, but there is a new energy that has pulled from the void and that is the energy of new life and love. Having another child will indeed refocus your mind, heart and body. It will distract you from all the negativity and grief that engulfed you during your loss. You will be rejuvenated again with anticipation, preparation and arrival. Your void will begin to decrease as it is now filled with this new energy.